21 bottles of Djinn on the wall

No one quite knew why, but 22 year old Siti Baqis just wouldn’t sit still.  It seems that every time her parents looked away she would disappear, only to be found later in a graveyard, a cement mixer, or a variety of other strange places.  Supernatural forces were blamed.  After plunking down a bunch of cash to over 100 shaman and getting no positive results, two other local shamans heard of the family’s plight and decided to offer their services for free.

The shamans showed up and began to pray and chant, both inside and outside the residence.  At this point, and apparently in direct response to this mystical practice, a figure was seen darting away from the location.  Luckily, it was captured.  Turns out it was a djinn!

Djinn are shapeshifting supernatural creatures from Arab and Islamic folklore said to be made up of smokeless flame or “the fire of a scorching wind.”  Whatever the hell that means.  Before their work was done, the shamans had captured 9 djinn in all.  In bottles and jars, no less!

 

Fact: posting pics of Djinn on Twitter gets you more followers

 

 

Wheew.  Problem solved, right?

Wrong.

No sooner had our heroic shamans left when ol’ Siti was back up to her old tricks, disappearing and such; this time to a cave 15 kilometers from her home.  She sent her mother a text to let her know where she was at.  I’m not kidding.  On her way home she was mysteriously whisked into a tree.  Again, like a good girl, she sent her mom a text.  Wouldn’t want her to think she was out drinking with boys.

So back came our humble shamans to do battle once again.  Apparently the first time around they missed a few malevolent entities, because they’ve captured 12 more djinn now.  That’s 21 djinn in all.

Blackjack!

 

Wanna play spin the bottle?

 

Surely, the final word on this story has not been written.  We’ll keep our eyes peeled for further developments.  But wouldn’t it be terrific if we could get text alerts to notify us of the breaking news?

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Another Jesus Sighting!

Another image of Jesus has been spotted, this time on a telephone pole. 

A man by the name of Rickey Navarre said on television station KPLC: “He might just be telling us something, you know, ‘I’m looking over you, I’m going to answer your prayers.’”   However local officials did not feel the same and deemed that the vines were too close to high voltage wires on the telephone pole, in other words, it is a safety hazard.  Officials ordered the vines be taken care of immediately before religious extremists come looking for a mystical experience.  The biggest fear would be that someone would climb the pole in order to get closer to Jesus.

Chupacabra Against the 300!

The infamous goat sucker strikes back, this time in Puebla located in Mexico.  It seems over the past couple months over 300 goats have been found decapitated.  Reports say hardly any blood is found at the vicious scenes leaving shepherds suspicious that the chupacabra may be the culprit.

My guess is 1 of the 2

  1. Psychopathic Shepherds that are killing their own and other shepherds live stock.
  2.  Some type of animal perhaps a coyote, wolf or maybe a hybrid of some sort.

No Not Brains, Cauliflower – Berlin Cannibal Restaurant a Hoax

A couple weeks back I wrote an article about a restaurant in Berlin that wanted to serve donated human body parts as a delicacy. The restaurant Flime turned out to be flimflam.  This hoax was perpetuated by a German vegetarian organization. 

During the press release last Thursday officials from this organization said it was actually a stunt to promote eating cauliflower, not human calves.  In fact the main point of the stunt was that eating animals should be just as stomach turning as consuming human flesh.

Although the group is happy with how the gag ended, lots of people are still very upset.  Even an official from a Brazilian town called Guajara-Mirim said he wants to sue the creators of the Flime website.  The site falsely claimed another one of these restaurants were located in the Amazonian town.  The official said that this act dismembered the town’s tourisms friendly image.

This disgusting joke was thought up a year ago by an ad agency called Serviceplan and the vegetarian group participated.  The agency placed fake ads in German newspapers in which they asked people to donate their limbs.  They also started up a website where people could fill out a donor sheet where questions about the individual were asked and submitted.  They even set up a fake eBay auction for a plate of liver, which ended up being yanked for the site, but not before reaching $1,000.

References:

http://www.aolnews.com/world/article/berlin-cannibal-restaurant-revealed-as-hoax/19619077

Chupacabra and the Hendersons

Over in Jack County, Texas, Staysha Henderson was greeted by a lovely creature that was inside her camper.  The creature was very skinny, hairless and had grey skin.  Unfortunately for Henderson she is now undergoing a series of rabies shots after being attacked by this creature as she went to offer it a bowl of water.  Henderson’s family shot and killed the mysterious creature, they believe to be the infamous chupacabra or in some circles it is being called the Texas blue dog.

Supposedly tests are being done to find out exactly what this creature is.

I will keep you all updated when the results are in.

References:

http://www.woai.com/news/local/story/Woman-claims-chupacabra-attacked-her/2mZUJXYkakOB4SjqDOgoWQ.cspx

I’ll Have a Side of Farver Beans and a Nice Chianti Please

There are talks of a restaurant called Flime opening in Berlin.  It has been getting much attention in German media because the restaurant has started a campaign to find donors.  The donors are not being asked for money or any type of investments into the company, instead they are being asked to donate body parts.  Supposedly ears, testicles and stomach fat are being asked for, so they may be turned into high class gourmet meals.  According to this soon-to-open restaurant they will follow old cooking habits of age old cannibalistic tribe of the Amazon.   

In Flime’s campaign, through German media they are calling for donors to be involved in with what they call the new diners movement.  Flime is also calling for “open-minded surgeons” as well.   It is no surprise that this campaign has stirred up a bit of controversy.  Already groups of protesters are fighting for a ban of this restaurant, claiming that it is highly distasteful and disrespectful following a case of real cannibalism which occurred in Germany in 2001. 

The inspiration, Flime says, come from a ritual called “compassionate cannibalism” in which the indigenous Brazilian Waricaca tribe would eat pieces of loved ones to help with mourning on their passing.

Michael Braun, the vice-chairman of Berlin’s Christian Democrat party is trying very hard to get to the bottom of what he feels is a “stunt” or “warped joke.”  Sadly he has had no luck. 

Braun said “it’s disgusting, not least because it wasn’t long ago that we had the case of the Berliner who was murdered by a cannibal,” referring to Armin Meiwes , who was sentenced to life in prison for murdering and consuming Bernd Jürgen Brandes in 2001.

Experts believe that Germany alone has approximately 800 followers of the underground cannibal movement.

I am almost 100% positive Germany officials would step in to assure something this disturbing wouldn’t happen.  The dangers of consuming humans can possibly be extreme.  Just research the outbreak of kuru in the Fore tribe in Papua New Guinea, which came from something they called mortuary feasting.

References:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/aug/26/cannibal-restaurant-flime-germany

UFO Spotted on Google Earth?

So as I was doing a quick search for some woo news, I stumbled across this photo. 

This was part of a collection by Google called ‘the most mysterious sightings ever.’  The most mysterious sightings ever, are you serious?  This picture isn’t that puzzling at all, when I first glanced at it, I was looking for the UFO.  I had no idea they were talking about the top of a man made structure, most likely a water tower.

It seems people just label anything that is spherical or circular a UFO.  No sightings of this gargantuan craft were ever reported, not even by the person driving the red truck in the photograph.  My favorite thing about this photo is the lonely road which travels right up to “UFO.” 

I laugh because I wouldn’t have even written this article if I didn’t see so many comments that “this is proof alien space craft’s have visited earth.”  “This is proof of a UFO, because Google earth doesn’t photoshop images,” well I guess I partially agree with that last statement, Google earth didn’t photoshop the picture but it’s not proof of a UFO, it’s proof of manmade structures.   Sadly it is also proof that some people are so blinded by a belief that they will subscribe to any possible piece of “evidence” as hard fact.